Off My Chest

Here is a text conversation that I would like to delete from my phone but would like to keep on file.
This is where I finally give her some clarity.  Name will be with held.  I finally get to get something off my chest...

Her: Could we get together and talk?

Me: Have you received professional help  for your drinking and pill problem? Or seen a therapist? If nt then I have to pass.

Her: I just thought we could get together and talk like 2 people who have known each for more than half of their life, but that's fine. I saw that you are expecting a baby, congrats. I hope the pregnancy is easy breezy and the baby is healthy and beautiful. Don't worry, I won't text you ever again. Deleting you from my phone now.

Me: So I guess the answer is no to all of those questions. That's too bad. Thanks for my family will be just fine. And by the way moving to my kids school is really bothersome. You should fix that.

Her: Actually we didn't move to "your" kids school. We found a place and liked it and was not going to pass on it because it was zoned to Post. We didn't choose it because of where the school was. You should get over it. The kids have nothing to do with it. If it is so bothersome, you can move. Unlike your "Christian" self, I don't hate your children as you seem to hate mine. Also, as for your first question, I don't owe you an answer. I was trying to be nice. Get off your high horse and remember when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you. Hope you have a great day.

Me: Yea lets throw my faith in there.Christians are sinners too. I have wanted to say something to you for the  longest keeping my mouth shut because it was not nice. You have no problem saying mean things about people and their families all day long. And don't even give it a second thought. Your judgement and negativity is why God gave me wings and told me that your problems were no longer my problems.  God forgive me for ONCE saying how I feel. Yea that makes me a bad Christian for a moment. It knocks me to the floor that I even have to say something so ugly. It's not in my character. But you decided it was ok to contact me. You choose what makes you momentarily happy over what makes you healthy. You don't know anything about my journey or what makes me a Christian. I will live with the persecution til I die and that's what I choose. I choose the health of me and my family and my own sanity over a friendship that was one sided. I don't hate your kids and your assumptions have always been off base. E actually enjoys seeing A at school. I am bothered that would potentially see you. And it would bring negative feelings that are not healthy

Me: This is my house I bought it and I will be here til I die. So if that means you are enticed to stick around so be it.

Her: Good for you. Yes, I contacted you to reach out. I don't regret it. I do wish you and your family the best. I am not looking forward to seeing you either but its not about me. Do as I plan and look the other way. I never texted you to have a fight, I was really trying to reach out, my mistake.  Like I said I won't do it again. I hope the girls can have their own relationship that had nothing to do with you and me. I never meant to hurt you and I thought you knew that. I will always regret how things went down and know that I'm to blame. I can't go into the past and change it. Happy you bought that house. As for this family where we live will have nothing to do with you.

And I left it at that.  I will have to give some back story eventually.  But this is 8 months after the dissolution of the friendship...the best thing I could have ever done for my mental health and the happiness of my family is banish this girl from my life.  Oh how sweet and proud and polite she sounds in this text,  trying to be the "bigger person" as she always liked to say.  Yea,  I am not fooled.  17years of friendship,  I know her and she didn't know me cause it really is ALL ABOUT HER!

It's Only Been 2 Years

It's only been two years since my last blog...lol I forgot I have this. I have been writing...on paper. I love paper, how it feels and how the pen glides on the paper because my brain tells it to. I love to look at my handwriting too. I have been thinking about typing up some of the things I have been writing about. Just go for it. But first I need to find out how to protect my ideas and words. That will probably only take another 2 years to figure out.

In other news, I was readying my past three blogs and I said I wanted a house, now we have one and now we even have cable. That's all on the husband. He's taking care of it, and now that Conan O'Brien is on TBS I rather enjoy watching him at the end of my day. So no more complaints about cable, I just don't like being told what to do or be forced to do something, that's really what it is all about.

I have been feeling this weird coldness in my fingers and toes, sometimes I wonder if it's serious, but having no health insurance and not enough money to go see a specialist and get any tests done keeps me wondering. It's nice you know, working your butt off trying to make everything great for our family and still lack enough money to insure the Momma. Everyone else is covered, which makes me purely happy, but not me. I get upset sometimes, then I forget about me again. Because it's not really all about me anyway...

I wrote that I was starting an office job, well I stopped working at that place after 8 months. It wasn't for me, I can not be trapped behind a desk. So now I am back to teaching at a Mother's Day Out. I love it, toddlers are AWESOME.

My baby just turned 11 and my littlest is now 7. They are my pride and joy. I am one Blessed Momma!

Oh...Conan is on...peace out!